Loneliness, Introversion and Interventions

The problem of loneliness in the UK appears to be compounded for introverted personalities with research suggesting that introversion is found to be significantly associated with loneliness (Buecker et al., 2020). While many people feel they have few close friends in the UK, with 12% reporting that they have only one, the number of close friends has been linked to extraversion, with 10% of introverts saying they have none compared to just 3% of extraverts (YouGov, 2021).

Little is known about the factors contributing to loneliness in introverted individuals. However, significant associations have been drawn between introversion and self-disgust (Penley & Tomaka, 2002), defined as “an aversive, self-conscious affective state that reflects disgust directed towards the self” (Overton et al., 2008); and also introversion and a sense of not mattering -the perception that, somehow, one is a significant part of the world around them, deriving from a sense of being the object of others’ awareness and interest, and being relied upon (Elliott et al., 2004; Flett et al., 2016). Each is considered a robust predictor of loneliness and associated with social inhibition, predisposing insecure and tense feelings in social interactions and reduced motivation to connect with others (Flett et al., 2016; Ypsilanti, 2018). Each can generate a negative spiral of avoidant social behaviours, amplifying the experience of loneliness and disconnection.

Self-disgust research is in its infancy. However, it involves holding either a realistic or distorted self-appraisal of repulsiveness to others in their sociocultural group (Borg & de Jong, 2015), which may develop via three social learning pathways: exposure to disgust-based criticism, internalising others’ disgust reactions, and negative comparisons with others (Overton et al., 2015; Powell et al., 2014). A lack of positive representation in society and culture then serves to maintain internalised prejudices held about oneself (Reeve, 2015).

A relationship between self-disgust and individuals possessing ‘socially undesirable’ traits, perceived lower status, and low self-esteem has emerged (Simpson et al., 2010). Now, consider extraversion and its association with social status, likability and popularity (Buecker et al., 2020), and how this may provoke negative comparisons evoking self-disgust for those who are more introverted (Powell et al., 2014). Moreover, research suggests individuals with high belongingness needs, who more readily and optimistically create opportunities for relationship development (Collisson, 2013), may have a preference for individuals high in extraversion (Brown & Sacco, 2017), which is associated with greater social networks, with extraverted behaviours evoking similar enthusiasm in others (Buecker et al., 2020). Consequently, introverted individuals may receive less attention, interest and caring, fostering a low sense of mattering. What’s more, introverts may experience low belongingness arising from a group they identify with not reciprocating acceptance and not being socially represented as desired (Pardede & Kovač, 2023), and perceived disgust reactions of avoidance or rejection from others may be internalised resulting in self-disgust (Powell et al., 2014).

What loneliness interventions can help?

Loneliness interventions are categorised as improving social skills, enhancing social support, providing social connection opportunities, and addressing maladaptive social cognition. It is important to address the hypervigilance and cognitive bias that is characteristic of individuals experiencing loneliness. Therefore, the most successful interventions address maladaptive social cognition (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010; Masi et al., 2011).

It is suggested that interventions focused on self-affirmation, mindfulness, and self-compassion may be effective in reducing self-disgust (Ypsilanti, 2018). Whilst self-affirmation improves psychological functioning in situations of perceived threat (Cohen & Sherman, 2014), limited evidence is available regarding the effect of self-affirmations on loneliness and self-disgust. However, mindfulness-based therapies have been shown to significantly improve loneliness (Williams et al., 2021). Whether mindfulness affects self-disgust remains unclear, although mindfulness appears to be associated with decreased rumination and negative affect (van der Velden et al., 2015).

Self-compassion

Most promisingly, self-compassion interventions have been associated with alleviating feelings of self-disgust (Ypsilanti, 2018; Ypsilanti et al., 2019), reduced loneliness and positive social relationship outcomes, even promoting a sense of connection with unknown others, and with greater effects in individualistic countries (Ling et al., 2021; Wang & Lou, 2022). Hypervigilance may also be addressed by protective effects against a subjective sense of social isolation (Borawski & Nowak, 2022). Furthermore, self-compassion is linked with hope (Wang & Lou, 2022), which Ypsilanti & Lazuras (2022) recommend enhancing within loneliness interventions. Self-compassion may be particularly important for more introverted individuals, as introversion is found to be negatively correlated with self-compassion (Neff et al., 2007). Self-compassion may also increase belongingness motivation (Don et al., 2022), especially relevant for individuals experiencing loneliness and socially distressed (Lim et al., 2021).

Self-compassion is an emotionally positive self-attitude consisting of mindfulness (preventing over-identification with painful thoughts and feelings), a sense of common humanity rather than seeing experiences as separate and isolating, and self-kindness through experiences of pain and failure (Neff, 2003). Self-compassion may also be an appropriate intervention for improving perceptions of belonging through reframing negative cognitions, normalising feelings of not belonging, and altering the extent that cause of feelings are considered internal or external (Allen et al., 2021; Walton & Cohen, 2007).

Gilbert (2015) advocates for compassion-focused therapy for tackling high levels of self-criticism and shame, related to self-disgust, through altering the quality of internal self-talk towards kindness, support, validation and understanding, and loosening identification with thoughts (Leaviss & Uttley, 2015). However, compassion-focused therapy may be inaccessible even within clinical populations in the UK. Alternatively, loving-kindness meditations, shown to contribute to greater and more consistent social connectedness plus lower negative affect, are freely available to non-clinical populations (Don et al., 2022; Hutcherson et al., 2008), thus may be an appropriate intervention to tackle loneliness in the UK. However, superior results may be seen in a group self-compassion programme involving participant interactions, such as the Mindful Self-Compassion programme, which also allows for more comprehensive skill development (Neff & Germer, 2013) but may be less accessible to the general population.

What more is there to consider…

It should be noted that self-compassion is an individual-level intervention that primarily improves self-regulation, but the emphasis should not be solely on the individual engaging in personal development. Instead, cultural perceptions of, and responses towards, introverted individuals that may contribute to the initial development of self-disgust and low sense of mattering and belonging should be considered and appropriate interventions undertaken at interpersonal, cultural, and societal levels too.

 

References

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Author

  • Hi, I’m Hayley - the original quieteer. I, too, identify as a quiet person. I’m naturally a highly sensitive introvert and I love and appreciate my quiet strengths now, but I spent much of my life not feeling good enough and experiencing social anxiety. I missed so many opportunities because I was afraid of being judged harshly, criticised and rejected – and because I doubted that I had the ‘right’ personality to succeed. Quiet Connections exists in part because I had a fantastic coach who helped me to work through old patterns of keeping myself small and hidden so that I could show up and be seen to play my part in creating the more connected, curious and compassionate world that I dream of. Now, I’m passionate about helping quiet people discover their unique qualities, gifts, passions and experiences and explore how best to use these to express themselves more authentically and contribute to the world in a way that works with their quieter or more sensitive nature. Get to know me here.

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