Meet the Team

Connector & Director

Hayley Stanton

Hi, I’m Hayley.

I, too, am a quieter person. As a highly sensitive introvert, I love and appreciate my quiet strengths now, but I spent much of my life not feeling good enough and experiencing social anxiety. I missed so many opportunities and connections because I was afraid of being judged harshly, criticised and rejected –and because I doubted that I had the ‘right’ personality to succeed. Now, I’m passionate about helping quiet people discover their unique qualities, gifts, passions and experiences and explore how best to use these to express themselves more authentically, connect more meaningfully and contribute to their world in a way that works with their quieter or more sensitive nature – and I’d love to connect with you at one of our Meet Ups.

Operations Coordinator

Ellen Duffy-Martin

I have always been sensitive, which can be a gift but, especially in adulthood, has sometimes felt like a struggle. For a long time, I thought I had to “fix” the anxious and quiet parts of myself so I pushed through my limits until I burned out. Eventually, my world was so small I didn’t know how to expand it again without falling into old cycles.

So, I started connecting with myself. I learned about self-compassion and quiet people (shout out Susan Cain!), and – crucially – I realised that I have quiet people in my life who I love and respect, and aren’t I worthy of the same? I didn’t have to blame myself for needing rest or quiet; I could engage with the world in a way that worked for me. Amazingly, even just this self-acceptance made it much easier for me to do scary things!

I’m so excited to be a part of Quiet Connections because I believe we all deserve spaces we can just be – with no pressure to act or perform. Finding a like-minded community can be life changing, and I hope to help support spaces where people can embrace who they are, just as they are.

Connector & Director

Angela Hatherell

Hi, I’m Angela. I’ve spent my life quietly working my way through several different careers, having trained as an architect and worked in practice, research and education, and also in film, television and arts management. I always felt most at home by the sea, so in 2018 I made the decision to move to Cornwall with my cockapoo,  Artie. 

Once here I cofounded Create CIC in Camborne, with the aim of giving anyone access to creativity, regardless of experience, ability or income. We run workshops, and offer access to equipment and studio space, for pottery, glass and jewellery. If you’re ever in town pop by and say hello!

As a quiet person who is also a director of a community interest company in Cornwall, discovering Quiet Connections has been a revelation to me. It has challenged my perception of my own and others’ quietness and allowed me to see it as a strength rather than a barrier – I can be successful, socially and professionally, because of, not in spite of, my quietness.

Connector

Ellie Zalick

Hi, I’m Ellie.

I consider myself an introvert and have experienced anxiety around social situations since I was seven. I feel like people often made assumptions about me. Some mistook my silence as rude and didn’t give me the space and time I needed to speak; others found it uncomfortable and labelled me as ‘weird’. Some thought it made me weak and an easy target for bullying; and others assumed I lacked confidence. And for a while I accepted these things, feeling I was socially inept, dysfunctional and believing I had to learn to be loud to be confident. But over time, I have learnt this isn’t true. I can be quietly confident, I can thrive in conversations when given the space and time I need, and I can challenge people’s perceptions of quiet. It is important to me that quieter people have a space where they can connect with likeminded people; where they feel accepted for who they are and comfortable in their own quiet skin.

Connector

Michael Mules

Hi, I’m Michael.

I’m an introverted person –but I embrace the louder parts of myself when I’m on stage! Working as a comedian, I have performed at festivals and on TV. But I’ve also faced many challenges in my life that left me feeling shy, isolated and withdrawn, too. Recently, I’ve been focused on building my confidence and using my voice more, and volunteering at a local art gallery and training in counselling skills has really helped me to grow as an individual. Now, I hope to inspire others to create more confidence within themselves, and I’m looking forward to offering time, space and gentle connection at our Penzance Meet Up, so you can do just that.

Connector

Mike Edward

Hi my name’s Mike.

Connector

Michael Dickinson

Hi I’m Michael and I’d describe myself as an introvert. I have at times struggled to have the self-confidence to connect with people and make friends. This has been particularly hard in the past few years where I have moved a number of times and had to restart this process in different places. I know how it can be to feel lonely, isolated, or that there might be something ‘wrong’ with you.

I’ve grown in self-confidence and self-acceptance since moving back to Cornwall, in a large part due to Quiet Connections and the connections I’ve made here.

I love the vision of Quiet Connections to give quiet people, like me, a space to be ourselves and make meaningful connections. I hope that as a Quiet Connector I can help to make Falmouth Meet Up a welcoming space for others.

Connector

Julie Jones

Hello fellow quieteers, I’m Julie and I’ve been engaging with Quiet Connections since 2018, starting with some coaching, then moving into helping out with creative activities and exhibitions. 

I consider myself sensitive and introverted. I enjoy going to music events- gigs and festivals, film screenings, and creative workshops however I find myself  easily drained by social interactions, and need regular periods of solitude to recharge.

As a child, my shyness was thought of as strange and distant; throughout my life I have been called moody, rude, even snobbish and definitely boring. To this day, I can sense that my quietness is unnerving for some people but I’ve grown to be comfortable with my way of being with this world. My quiet qualities are my superpowers. If I don’t respond immediately I’m processing information and am still engaging with other than verbal communication.

Through showing me acceptance, Quiet Connections has helped me grow in confidence and self belief.  Now I hope to support others to explore, develop and cherish their quiet strengths too.

Connector

Zoe Zalick

Hello, I am Zoe Zalick – Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), musician, teacher, voice coach, sci-fi fan and lover of cats, coasts and campervans. I spend most of my days using my voice and helping others to use theirs so people don’t always realise that as a young adult I was painfully shy and struggled to say anything at all.

I had a lifetime of school reports that said ‘should speak up in class’ as if it was a deliberate choice of mine rather than an anxious response to not being allowed time to think or space to be myself.

And when it came to people my own age – I could never work out what it was they wanted from me. Whatever I said was wrong and when I didn’t say anything that was wrong too. I didn’t understand the ‘rules’. I felt like an outcast. I turned to music so that I could disappear into my own world and not have to speak to anyone.

Ironically, that is when things got better for me. All the time spent alone, practising, meant that I got good. My music attracted an audience that actually wanted to listen to me. And then other musicians who wanted to play with me. And then students who wanted to learn from me. They shared my interests and often, my feelings about the world. We listened to and understood each other. Suddenly I had a social life. And meaningful work. So before I knew it I was singing and speaking on stage and in the classroom and feeling like a competent and confident human being!

Nowadays I am far more relaxed around people and comfortable with conversation in pretty much any situation – I would even go so far as to say I enjoy it! But I have not forgotten how it feels to be nervous, anxious and full of self doubt. I have much empathy, respect and patience for every individual who treads that path.

As a Quiet Connector volunteer at the Liskeard Meet Up, alongside Ellie, I aim to create a space which is warm and welcoming. Where you are valued and feel like you belong. Where you can make genuine connections with others who make an effort to listen and understand you.

I think quiet, sensitive and introverted people present only a small part of themselves to the outside world. Like the TARDIS, we are bigger on the inside. So much so, that sometimes we can get lost in there. It feels good to occasionally throw the doors open and allow a select bunch of open minded, non judgemental people, a tiny glimpse of who we really are.

This is what I think Quiet Connections is all about.

Pop Up Connector

Erzsébet Keserű

Hi, I’m Erzsébet,

I consider myself an introverted and sensitive person, and I have also experienced social anxiety. I know what it’s like to struggle with making friends, not feeling as worthy as others around me. Overthinking situations would stop me from trying. At times, this made me feel lonely and stuck. After slow and determined steps to push my boundaries, I realised that there is nothing wrong with who I am. Being surrounded by fellow quieteers has made me feel safe, heard, and helped me to open up and shift my focus from the fears to how I can be me and lift others at the same time. I am passionate about sharing the belief that quiet people are amazing and, given safe spaces and the right circumstances, they have plenty to talk about. I would love to have you join me at this Meet Up and hear your story.

Connector

Jennie

Connector

Louise Ostrovsky

Hi, I’m Louise,

I have always been known for being reserved or quiet in large group settings. I used to struggle to feel comfortable in environments where I had to step out of my comfort zone to be heard.

However, when I am with people I feel comfortable with, I become confident and more able to chat and offer my point of view within conversations. I’ve found that through working in the nursing and social care sector, I have developed skills in advocacy and as a result I am now confident in most face to face social interactions, as long as the group I am with, is small enough to feel seen and heard. I’m motivated to be a part of the Quiet Meet Ups, as I now love my ‘quietness’ and I am keen to assist others to feel accepted and thrive, in their quietness. I’d love to connect with you at the next Meet Up.

Connector

Daphne Atkinson

Hello. My name is Daphne and I consider myself to be a quiet person. An introvert by nature, I’m more at home in a one to one exchanges or small group set ups. I found it hard to accept this aspect of my personality over the years. However, many years later, I now know it’s ok to be me, and it’s okay to take the time and space that we need as quieter folk. I believe it is a privilege when someone lets themselves be known to you. And I hope that when you become part of Quiet Connections, you find a place where Quiet is valued and it’s ok to be yourself. I look forward to meeting you.

Connector and Digital Lead

Jake Riding

I’ve always been a quiet person, and for a long time I felt like I had to hide parts of myself to fit in. I’m autistic and have ADHD, so social situations have never felt easy. I’d often overthink every interaction and come away feeling exhausted, even when things went well. I learned to mask from a young age, but it left me feeling disconnected and misunderstood.

Over time, I’ve started to understand myself more and realised there’s nothing wrong with being quiet, sensitive or different. I’ve stopped trying to ‘fix’ myself and started to appreciate the way my mind works. It’s not always easy, but learning to accept who I am has made a big difference.

I care deeply about creating calm, welcoming spaces for people who feel like they don’t quite fit in. That’s why I’m proud to be helping with the Helston meet ups and to be part of Quiet Connections.

Connector

Irene Middleton

My name is Irene and I have always been a quiet person. I missed many opportunities and connections because I was afraid of being judged harshly, criticised and rejected. At a very young age I had little self confidence or self esteem.

I have a good friend who joined Quiet Connections some time ago. She persuaded me to go with her to a meeting at Redruth. I was made to feel very welcome and gradually over the weeks I felt more and more comfortable and have met some lovely likeminded souls. I can just be me, something that I did not feel I could be for many years.

Joining Quiet Connections has made me realise that I am not alone, that there are many people out there who feel the same way as I do. I now look forward to Mondays in Redruth and, by volunteering to help at the Helston group, I really hope that I can help other fellow Quieteers to feel welcome. That they can just be themselves, that they have nothing to prove to anyone and we, as a group, are very happy to know they have taken the first step to join us and hope that we can contribute something good in their lives in the safe space that Quiet Connections has established.

Connector

Jade Clemens

Hi, I’m Jade. I volunteer at the Truro meet-ups.

I’ve been labelled as quiet my whole life. I struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time, and found it hard to make lasting friendships or meet new people.

It’s only in recent years I’m learning more about myself and the qualities of my personality, and embracing my quietness rather than seeing it as a negative thing.

That quietness is balanced by a decent streak of humour, bravery, confidence in my abilities, and an enthusiasm to get to know others. Quiet Connections has provided the space for me to build confidence in my social skills, go to new places and be able to meet like-minded people. I hope that you will benefit from it as much as I have!

Connector & Creative Assistant

Louise Taylor

I’ve suffered from social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I feel like I’ve spent my life standing on the sidelines, watching other people really live their lives. School was incredibly difficult – the education system isn’t designed for introverts. There was so much that I couldn’t cope with, and my shyness made me a target for bullies. I think there is a lot of shame around being socially awkward. I felt as though I was viewed as weak and timid, dull and unintelligent. I felt that I wasn’t ‘enough’ of a person. The worst thing I could imagine was other people noticing my nervousness or embarrassment, which, of course, they did. This just reinforced my feeling of being damaged in some way.

Thankfully, with age, things have got a little easier. I can adapt my life to be more manageable. For example, I chose to study with the Open University after a disastrous attempt at attending a brick uni (I left after a term when I realised that I couldn’t cope with group discussions, giving presentations, etc). I am also more accepting of who I am. I am not broken; I am just a quieter version of normal. Still, sometimes I find myself in situations I can’t cope with and need to escape. My confidence takes yet another battering.

How refreshing to see that quietness is being addressed here at Quiet Connections, within a generally more open public discourse around mental health, and I am happy to play a part in this.

Pop Up Connector

Miriam

Miriam has been a Tergar student for over five years. She began meditating with a Buddhist group in her early twenties. Today, she is a Tergar community leader and facilitator. Originally from Madrid, Spain, she lived in several countries before moving to Cornwall in 2001 to study at Falmouth University.

Non-Executive Director

Phil Williams

Hi, I’m Phil. I am an NLP Practitioner & a Blue Health Coach. In the past I have struggled with social anxiety & depression. Learning NLP was a game changer for me & it has helped me shift negative behavioural patterns & taught me to develop a sense of self-awareness that helps keep me on an even keel.

I am passionate to help my clients bring lasting change to their lives by challenging you to safely step out of your comfort zone & explore new rewarding ways of thinking & develop what is arguably the most important relationship in life – Your relationship with yourself.

As a Blue Health coach, I very much enjoy taking coaching sessions in blue spaces, walking on the Southwest coast path & the occasional toe dip or deep dive into the sea. Working in and around our blue spaces & connecting with nature are extremely powerful resources for those looking for change.

I have helped build & run an IT & Telecoms business for almost 20 years which has certainly been rollercoaster ride & has taught me some valuable life lessons which I endeavour to bring to my coaching. In a nutshell I want to help my clients to feel more confident & truly become their own best & authentic self.

Non-Executive Director

Stacey Mills

Hi, I’m Stacey. I’m a person-centred counsellor working in the NHS. I’ve always found it challenging to be in groups of people. Wanting to fit in, I used alcohol as a coping strategy to mask who I truly was when I was younger. I wanted to feel like I was more engaging, exciting, social and relaxed and, with alcohol, I earned the label of ‘life and soul of the party’. But that didn’t fit with who I really was. I came to accept my quieter, more introverted nature and learnt to follow my own internal valuing system and find the hidden gifts to my introversion, working with my more sensitive nature, rather than against it. 

I trained as a Psychological Therapist and I am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Group facilitation has been a key focus throughout my career and I have designed and delivered a number of programmes and psychoeducational groups. I bring all my experience to Quiet Connections to offer guidance with strategy and development. Read my story here.