Interview with Chloé Eathorne, The Wildflower Hour Radio Presenter

Radio presenter, Chloé Eathorne, shares her experiences of shyness and social anxiety with us in this interview with Stacie Clark. Chloé’s show ‘The Wildflower Hour’ on Source FM, is an hour thriving with an eclectic mix of feel-good indie tunes alongside discussing all things art, poetry and mental health.

What is your story and how can you relate to feeling socially anxious or not good enough?

Hi I’m Chloé and I the present The Wildflower Hour on Source Fm, a weekly radio show where I discuss all things art poetry and mental health. I’ve suffered from anxiety throughout my life in various forms (panic attacks, OCD, health anxiety, monophobia) and social anxiety throughout my teenage years. I use to be so shy I couldn’t even go up to the cashier in a supermarket, I’d hide behind my mum and ask her to speak to them for me. My face would often get red hot and had periods of uncontrollable blushing in class which made me feel so embarrassed! College in particular was an isolating time for me as I had difficulty making the transition from school, talking to new people and making friends because I was so worried and overly concerned with what others thought of me; would they like me, am I good enough, am I too weird. It was a lonely period of my life, and to this day I regret not reaching out to people more, it’s only in later years that made me truly realise the value of connection with others that transcends all ego and fear.

What inspired you to start hosting the Wild Flower Hour radio show, what anxieties did you experience and how did you work through these?

I was inspired to begin hosting The Wildflower Hour radio show during lockdown. Initially I was anxious about how I would be perceived, if my voice sounded weird or if my song choices would appeal to everyone listening. I have very high standards for myself and it’s only been in later years that I’ve realised that people are so consumed with their own thoughts about themselves they don’t care as much about you as you think (in the best way)! It’s freeing to know that nobody is perfect, and our own self perceived flaws are 1) not as noticeable to others as we think and 2) part of what makes us beautiful and individual. Being open and honest about our flaws is actually really great as it helps other people who are experiencing the same thing know they are not alone. We are flawed and often silly beings and we should embrace that humanity!

What was the gift or the lesson in this for you?

The main lesson I learnt is that love is the most important thing above all. With this new understanding it has helped me to put my anxieties aside for the most part and focus on serving my purpose instead of being afraid to be seen, judged or to speak out.

What does the phrase “Quiet Confidence” mean to you?

To me, quiet confidence means being accepting and loving of yourself without the need of ego and self projection, or putting others down. It means having a solid core of love and appreciation for yourself; both your good qualities and flaws and unconditional self acceptance.

Having the belief that I needed to be more than who I was, that I wasn’t good enough and searching for that approval somewhere else was a big part of my social anxiety. Learning to love and accept yourself unconditionally is hard but it is so important for our wellbeing.

Tell us what has gotten in the way of your own confidence in the past?

In the past, my confidence has been knocked by comparing myself to others, putting people on a pedestal, and negative self talk. We believe the stories we tell ourselves and the way we speak to ourselves matters. I felt like everyone else had their lives sorted (spoiler; they don’t!), and were much more naturally comfortable fitting in with others, and I craved the feeling of belonging. I also suffer from a disability and coming to terms with the limitations of my body took a toll of my confidence, which has taken time and a lot of growth to heal and accept.

Another thing that got in the way of my confidence and self belief was the realisation on a subconscious level I was holding onto to parts of myself that were familiar but not congruent with my true self. I was holding onto my social anxiety as a part of my identity, when we tell stories to ourselves it shapes our beliefs, how we talk to ourselves matters. I found when I actually put myself out there in these situations I coped far better, and learnt socialising is ultimately a skill- it takes practice to develop! Accepting that naturally I am a quieter person, and recognising the value in that.

The notion that we can create ourselves, reform our identities and grow is a great thing. A person’s past does not need to dictate their present or the future. We get to create and choose who we want to be in any given moment or phase of our lives. 

What is your shining achievement and why is this such a big win for you?

A big achievement for me is going back to university. I had some wobbles the first time around and going back has been one of my goals for a long time. After I left university the first time I really struggled during that period and reached some of the lowest points in my life, but have been able to build up my confidence gradually, expand my comfort zone and push myself to find my independence and my path. I feel very grateful for this and all of the support I have received to help me get back on my feet. And also to myself for keeping resilient, a good dose of humour helps too!

What’s inspiring you right now? Maybe something you’re reading or listening to?

At the moment I’ve really been inspired by the gorgeous nature in Falmouth. Being outside and being surrounded by wildlife is invigorating and healing. I recently stuck a bird feeder on my window and have had a little robin visit, which is lovely to wake up to. There are also little rabbits around campus which is very sweet! I find nature very inspiring and have been inspired to write poems on my bus journeys. I’ve recently been reading a great little book called Pause written by Danielle Marchant which has many different techniques including micro pauses to find calm throughout your day which has been a very inspiring read.

What message do you have for others who are feeling socially anxious or not good enough?

Love is the most important thing, ego can get in the way of that, finding self love from within and then spreading that to others is something very valuable.

What would you say to your younger self?

Get out of your head, your worries and fears about what people think of you- it’s all meaningless. Focus on love and connection. It’s never weird to reach out and talk to someone, most of the time they’ll probably be glad you did, because we all crave that connection. Don’t have regrets, take that chance, say hello at the bus stop.

Tune into Chloé’s show ‘The Wildflower Hour’ on Source Fm, on Thursdays from 3pm, and follow Chloé on Instagram here.