If you truly loved yourself…
As compassion, and more importantly self-compassion seems to be a running theme at the moment, certainly in my life, I finally got around to reading something that has been on my list for a while: a short but brilliant book by Kamal Ravikant called ‘Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It’. I have wanted to read this since I heard his talk last year. He has figured out the secret of life and wants to share it with us in 3 simple steps. Want to hear more? Yep, me too!
Step 1: Instead of the repeating the same loops we replay constantly in our minds, make a vow (more than a commitment) to focus on one thought and one thought only: I love myself. Too much? Then just stay open to loving yourself and let the rest happen. Kamal explains that darkness is the absence of light, negative thoughts are darkness – so go clean the window and drown it in light!
Step 2: In addition to this new mantra, he also suggests finding a piece of beautiful music to listen to everyday and breathe to whilst repeating this mantra (no more than a 7 minute commitment needed)
Step 3: Then asking ourselves the simple question: if I truly loved myself, would I let myself experience this?
So it seems we can start by just being aware that we are where we are and we’ve been where we’ve been. We can use this to help us decide where we want to go rather than just feeling bad about the sad bits and clinging onto any good bits. Then we can shine the light and focus on just one simple mantra.
Well, I thought I might as well test it out – What have I got to lose? I already know that this voice gets in my way a lot and has had significant effect on my confidence and self-esteem in the past. I often get to a point where my over-analysing brain and emotions feel completely overloaded – and it hurts! I worry about how to get on with everyday life and manage the responsibilities of being a grown up in the outside world, whilst dealing with the heartbreak of infertility in my private one; big life questions like: Why am I here? What’s the meaning and purpose of it all? How I can have more fun and get more balance in my life; What I want/don’t want; how; what; where; when??? – See, it’s exhausting! And I know I am not the only one so maybe this is worth giving a try… I may need to fake it ‘til I make it but that’s ok!
‘If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete’
– Jack Kanfield
Right peeps, let’s put our headphones on and start making some space to see if we can let a bit of light in and stop giving ourselves such a hard time! I’ll start…