Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: The Eight Types of Love

Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that has intrigued humanity for centuries. One of the most influential theories that provide a comprehensive framework to understand love’s various dimensions is Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. Introduced in the late 1980s, this theory posits that love can be understood through three core components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. By combining these components in different ways, Sternberg identifies eight distinct types of love. In this blog post, we will delve into each component and explore the eight types of love in detail.

The Three Components of Love

Intimacy

Intimacy refers to the feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness one experiences in a loving relationship. It involves sharing personal thoughts, emotions, and experiences, fostering a sense of mutual understanding and trust. Intimacy forms the emotional foundation of a relationship.

Passion

Passion encompasses the physical attraction and romantic feelings that drive sexual desire and arousal. It is the component that brings excitement and infatuation to a relationship, often characterised by intense emotions and longing for union with the partner.

Commitment

Commitment is the decision to grow, maintain and nurture the connection and love one has for a partner over time. It involves a conscious choice to uphold the relationship, regardless of the challenges and obstacles that may arise. Commitment is the stabilising force that ensures the longevity of a relationship.

Types of Love

Combining the three components in different ways results in eight distinct types of love. Each type represents a unique way individuals experience and express love in their relationships.

1. Non-Love

Components: None

Non-love is the absence of all three components. It represents casual interactions or acquaintanceships where there is no significant emotional connection, physical attraction, or commitment.

2. Liking

Components: Intimacy

Liking is characterised by a high level of intimacy without passion or commitment. This type of love is often found in friendships where individuals share a deep emotional bond and enjoy each other’s company but do not experience romantic or physical attraction.

3. Infatuation

Components: Passion

Infatuation involves intense passion without intimacy or commitment. It is marked by strong physical attraction and idealised perceptions of the partner. However, it often lacks depth and may fade quickly if not supported by intimacy and commitment.

4. Empty Love

Components: Commitment

Empty love is defined by commitment without intimacy or passion. This type of love may occur in long-term relationships where the initial spark has faded, but the partners remain together due to a sense of duty or obligation.

5. Romantic Love

Components: Intimacy + Passion

Romantic love combines intimacy and passion but lacks commitment. Partners share a deep emotional connection and physical attraction, but their relationship may be short-lived if they do not develop a sense of commitment.

6. Companionate Love

Components: Intimacy + Commitment

Companionate love is characterised by intimacy and commitment without passion. It is often found in long-term friendships or marriages where the initial passion has diminished, but a strong emotional bond and mutual commitment keep the partners together.

7. Fatuous Love

Components: Passion + Commitment

Fatuous love involves passion and commitment without intimacy. This type of love may result in whirlwind romances or “love at first sight” situations where individuals quickly commit to each other based on intense physical attraction, but without truly knowing each other.

8. Consummate Love

Components: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment

Consummate love is the ideal form of love, encompassing all three components. It represents a balanced and fulfilling relationship where partners share a deep emotional connection, physical attraction, and a strong commitment to each other. Maintaining consummate love requires effort and dedication from both partners to nurture and sustain all three components over time.

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love offers a valuable framework for understanding the diverse ways love can manifest in relationships. Whether you are experiencing the excitement of romantic love or the deep connection of companionate love, understanding these dynamics can enhance your appreciation of the intricate nature of human relationships. By recognising the different types of love, we can better comprehend our own relationships and work towards achieving the ideal balance of intimacy, passion, and commitment. By exploring these different facets of love, we can enrich our relationships and strive towards creating meaningful and lasting connections with our partners.

References
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119-135.
Sternberg, R. J. (1988). The Triangle of Love: Intimacy, Passion, Commitment. New York: Basic Books.
Acker, M., & Davis, M. H. (1992). Intimacy, passion, and commitment in adult romantic relationships: A test of the triangular theory of love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 9(1), 21-50.