Knowing Your Values: A Guide to Living Authentically

Values are the unseen compass that guides our decisions and helps us navigate the world. When you know your values, you have a clearer sense of who you are and what matters most to you. This self-awareness becomes an anchor, especially in times of uncertainty or when faced with difficult choices. Knowing your values can help you move through life with more ease, authenticity, and confidence.

Why Do Values Matter?

Our values are the foundation of our inner world. They are the principles that we hold most dear – shaping our perspectives, priorities, and actions. When we live in alignment with our values, life feels more meaningful. It feels like we’re acting with integrity, even when the path isn’t easy.

When we aren’t sure of our values, it can feel like we’re drifting, easily pulled in directions that don’t serve us. We might say yes to things that drain us, or end up in situations that feel misaligned, creating a sense of disconnection or unease. Knowing our values helps us to recognise what truly feels right for us.

How Can We Get to Know Our Values?

Understanding your values is an exploration – one that involves curiosity and reflection. Here are a few gentle ways to start:

1. Reflect on Your Moments of Fulfilment
   Think about times in your life when you felt truly content, proud, or aligned. What was happening in those moments? Who were you with? What were you doing? Often, our most fulfilling experiences are rooted in our values being honoured.
2. Notice What Triggers You
   Our emotional reactions can provide insights into our values. If something frustrates or upsets you deeply, it might be because a core value is being compromised. For example, feeling uncomfortable in a setting that lacks openness could indicate that honesty and transparency are important to you.
3. Look at What Inspires You
   Pay attention to the qualities you admire in others. Who do you look up to, and why? You might find that the traits you respect in other people – like kindness, courage, or creativity – reflect your own values.
4. Ask the Right Questions
   Take some time to journal or reflect on these prompts:
   • What is most important to me in life?
   • When do I feel most like myself?
   • What makes me feel proud or satisfied? Your answers can help you to notice patterns and uncover recurring themes that point towards your values.

Letting Values Guide Us

Once you’ve identified your values, you can use them as a guidepost in your everyday life. When faced with a choice, big or small, ask yourself, “Does this align with my values?” For example, if you value connection, then spending time with loved ones or finding a community to belong to might be a priority for you. If you value growth, you might seek out opportunities to learn or challenge yourself.

When we make decisions that align with our values, it often brings a sense of relief and calm, even if the decision itself is hard. There’s a deep comfort in knowing that you’re staying true to yourself. And, conversely, if you find yourself in a situation that consistently feels wrong or uncomfortable, it might be because your values are not being honoured.

Recognising Shared Values

Values are powerful, not just on a personal level but in our relationships and communities too. When we find others who share our values, it creates a sense of connection and understanding. There’s a shared language that doesn’t need words – a feeling of ‘you get me’.

But how do we recognise shared values in others, whether it’s in a person or a company?

1. Trust Your Gut Feeling
   Sometimes, you can sense shared values intuitively. You might feel more at ease or safe with a person or in a particular environment. That’s often a sign that your values align. If something feels off, take note of that too – it might indicate a clash in values.
2. Listen to What They Prioritise
   Notice what a person or organisation talks about and focuses on. Do they prioritise the same things you hold dear? If you value kindness and compassion, for example, you’ll likely connect more easily with those who actively demonstrate those qualities.
3. Notice Where You Feel Energised or Drained
   Pay attention to the situations, people, or activities that leave you feeling uplifted and energised, as well as those that leave you drained. It’s a subtle but important clue about whether your values are being nourished or neglected.

Living in Alignment

Living in alignment with your values isn’t always easy, but it brings a deep sense of contentment and purpose. It means that even when you face challenges or tough decisions, you know you’re moving in the right direction – a direction that feels right for you.

And when you surround yourself with others who share similar values, whether it’s friends, partners, or communities, you create a network of support and understanding. There’s a shared commitment to living intentionally, and together, it can feel like you’ve found a place where you truly belong.

At Quiet Connections, our core values include kindness, fairness, curiosity, inclusivity, and connection. We strive to create warm and welcoming spaces where quieter voices are heard and celebrated. If these values resonate with you, then join our community and let’s explore together how we can make our world more kind, curious, and connected.

What are your core values? How might they guide you today?