It can feel like you’re expected to speak up all. the. time. There’s no getting away from making phone calls, talking to strangers, speaking up in a meeting, attending job interviews -you even get graded on your ability to present and your confidence to speak up when you’re a student!
But this doesn’t come easily for you. We know you struggle speaking out in groups and sometimes with conversations too (especially if it’s with a person you don’t know well or feel comfortable with, right?). When all eyes are on you, you find that you just can’t talk as clearly as you want to.
Sometimes you mumble or the words come out jumbled; you might stutter and stumble; and at times your mind goes completely blank and you can’t think of a single thing to say. Or maybe you end up trailing off part-way through speaking. URGH, it’s as if your brain isn’t even connected to your mouth! It’s SO frustrating for you because there’s so much you know, think, feel and wonder that you’d like to share if only you felt you could.
You’re always worrying about saying the ‘right thing’; afraid that you’ll be laughed at or judged if you get something wrong.
Second-guessing everything you might say is exhausting for you, and by the time you’ve perfected your words in your mind and you’re ready to talk, the topic has moved along.
You get nervous when it’s your turn to speak. Your heart starts pounding. You get hot and clammy, feel a bit sick and shaky, and you don’t know where to look. In your panic, you’ll give short, quick answers, often saying the first thing that comes into your head to get the attention off of you. And even that mostly consists of ‘umms’ or ‘I don’t knows’.
You feel embarrassed about your own speaking abilities. You would avoid every situation like this if you could! Cause it goes deeper than what you do or don’t say, doesn’t it?
You think you should be able to speak with confidence and you wonder what’s wrong with you, because everyone else seems so comfortable chatting away. You desperately want to feel normal but you panic so easily. You feel like you’re not good enough, or maybe even ‘broken’ in some way. To make matters worse, you constantly feel misunderstood. No one really knows what you’re going through but they seem to view your quietness as disinterest or rudeness –and that’s not who you are at all!
What you really want is to feel like you can just be yourself without overthinking everything. To speak clearly and calmly whenever you need to.
- You want to be able to trust that you’re not going to freak out whenever someone new speaks to you
- You want to actually enjoy conversations and making new friends
- You want to feel confident in contributing to group discussions
- You want to give presentations that get you the recognition and grades you deserve
- Maybe you’d like to join that club you’ve been looking at, or go on a date without worrying about it so much?
Most of all, you want to be sure that you can cope with the next step in life -whether you’re moving to the next stage of your education or career, or simply stepping out more in your personal life. But how, when all you feel is panic?
Sure, you’ve spent time on google trying to figure out a solution for yourself
...but the best strategy you’ve come up with so far is avoiding every speaking situation you can.
When you can’t get out of it, you either try to be super well-prepared; planning ahead and making sure you know just what to say, coming up with all the answers to anything you might be asked and endlessly rehearsing your words...
Or you do the opposite and try to block it out of your mind in the hope it goes away, until you really have to think about it – and then that panic overwhelms you when you’re put on the spot.
But you know that even when you are well-prepared, there’s always something that you can’t anticipate. Sometimes panic can take over and you forget all the hard work you did when it matters the most, right? So you need to be able to respond calmly and clearly in the moment too.
It might even be true that you’ve had some counselling or group therapy before and felt that it didn’t help you much, or perhaps you didn’t feel understood? We can relate to that too! It’s kinda hard for anyone who hasn’t experienced this to really get it, so even therapists can misinterpret our behaviours sometimes, or not think about what we might need from them to feel safe and open up -and there’s quite a lot to consider!
In your mind, getting help for this problem means you’re drawing attention to a personal flaw. When you’re in a place where you believe that you’re uniquely weird and this problem only affects you in this way -or this severely- the last thing you want to do is start sharing it with other people (even therapists).
You’re naturally worried about opening yourself up to being misunderstood and judged. And besides, you try not to put yourself in situations where you might fail at something. It feels safer not to do anything. If only you didn’t have to open up to a stranger or speak up in a group…
The truth is that our speaking fears aren’t easy to change because you know that you’re going to have to do the exact thing that you’re afraid of –speak to someone
(And you’re probably already thinking of all the ways that you might embarrass yourself)
We know how hard it can be to take that first step...
We’ve worked with many people like you; helping them to feel more calm and confident so they can speak more clearly in presentations, groups and everyday conversations.
And we know how hard it can be to muster up the courage to start with face-to-face coaching or group work. Often you feel as if you need to have some tools under your belt to help reduce the panic and get you talking more calmly and coherently before you even get started with support. We hear you.
...that’s why we’ve created the toolkit you need, right here.
The Quiet Speaking Toolkit
Helping you feel calm and confident so you can speak up, join in and feel like you belong
A short course full of easy techniques that you can start implementing from Day 1 to help you feel more calm, confident and able to speak clearly.
Not only are these the best strategies that are helping our clients to show up and be seen; they are also the go-to techniques that we continue to use ourselves when we have tough conversations, host an event, or speak in public. It’s all here, just for you.
The best bit for you is that you can take the course from the comfort of your own home, at your own pace, anytime you like. There’s no mandatory group discussions or set challenges for you to worry about. This course is all about you quietly learning techniques that you can use anytime you need to shift that sense of panic into calm so you can speak up and be seen.
We've been where you are too
"Hi! I’m Hayley, and I help people who feel anxious about speaking up and being seen. Why? Because that was me. I was always the quiet one. Red-faced. Freezing when called upon in class. Going sick to avoid presentations. Running away from speaking to guys or, well, anyone really. Using alcohol to help me socialise. I didn’t go to Uni because I was too afraid I wouldn’t make friends and couldn’t cope with presentations. Or grocery shopping. Instead, I sabotaged my job applications to avoid getting an interview. I wish I had someone to show me that I wasn’t broken and that I had the courage to speak up and be seen."
"Hello! I'm Stacie... I was the girl who awkwardly blurted out half-formed sentences. Pretended to not know much - about a lot of things! Would go on a date to sit in silence. And nervously laughed to hide the fear of speaking. I dropped an A-Level so I wouldn’t have to do presentations. Spent 3 years ditching Uni applications because I'd have to live in halls (I got there eventually… not living in halls!). I couldn't get a job in McDonalds and left jobs I did get because I felt too anxious. If only I knew back then what I know now… I would have seen that I was more capable than I ever thought I was."
"We’re both qualified Coaches, but what really matters is that we’ve been where you are now and we’ve come through it, and we can help you too. We want to share with you everything that we have learned over the past decade on our personal and professional journeys, so we can help you to feel more confident and capable a lot sooner than we did!"
Quiet Connections helped me get the confidence to get a job. Now, I'm earning money and I never thought I could get to this stage but because of them I have.
Quiet Connections put my mind at rest when thinking about speaking out loud. It made me feel less isolated and boosted my confidence.
(What you’ll NOT get with this course is practical presenting tips. There are already loads of amazing resources out there to help you improve your presentation techniques, but first, you need to stop the panicking and get calm -and that's the part the Quiet Speaking Toolkit can help you with).
The Quiet Speaking Toolkit
The Quiet Speaking Toolkit is a six-step programme packed with tools and techniques to help you stop panicking in social situations and feel calm and confident, so you’re able to speak more clearly in presentations, groups and conversations.
- You’ll get coaching videos, audio guides and worksheets across six modules that each cover a different coping strategy for you to add to your toolkit
- You'll have exclusive access to the course section granted within the Quiet Connections app which also comes with additional tips and insights for you
- You'll get community support in our private group
The course is valued at £400
What will you cover?
- Module 1: Calming breathing techniques for anxiety
- Module 2: Letting go of perfectionism & fear of failure
- Module 3: Stopping self-hate & quieting your inner critic
- Module 4: Moving through fear of judgement & criticism
- Module 5: Stepping into your quiet confidence
- Module 6: Building courage & self-belief to show up & be seen
- Bonus: 10 Day Speaking Challenge
For all of this, your investment is only: £119.99
Want a toolkit of techniques to help you feel more confident? Sign up now
The course was really well delivered and I liked that both the facilitators brought personal experiences into the teaching as it made it more relatable 🙂
Quiet Connections helped me realise that each and every one of us have individual stories that are important enough to be shared; actually, they need to be heard. It offered me a whole new mindset and the confidence to know that it is OK to use my voice.
It’s great to know I'm not alone! 🙂 I'm definitely going to be using the techniques that were shared!
Want the Toolkit too? Get started now!