Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident: Show up for the things you've been missing out on in life
A group training & coaching programme to help you feel capable of being in everyday social situations, connecting with others, and reaching higher in your job & education.
We hear you, and we know you feel like no one else does. You watch other people calmly chatting with strangers, confidently speaking up in a group and perfectly presenting to an audience, and it seems like you’re the only one struggling. It’s like you’ve got only two choices when it comes to social situations: avoid avoid avoid, or endure it with panic and pain. Either way, you’re missing out on too many joyful moments and letting your dreams pass you by.
You feel like you’re falling behind in life.
Perhaps you’re asking yourself…
- How can you go to university with new people if you can’t make friends and do presentations?
- What job can you do where you can hide in the background (and don’t have to endure another agonising interview)?
- How are you ever going to let anyone really know you (or even love you), if you're too afraid to be yourself?
Being with other people is so hard for you, and you just hate being centre of attention. Your heart starts racing and your mind goes blank. Simply having a conversation with someone you don’t know well (or feel comfortable with) can seem impossible. You wonder if there’s something wrong with you, because surely you should be able to talk to people without stopping and stuttering and umm-ing and uhh-ing? It’s as if the distance between your brain and your mouth is just so much further than it is for other people. Your words get lost and jumbled along the way.
It’s embarrassing and you’re constantly frustrated at yourself because you can’t think of the right thing to say quickly enough, or you’ve just said the first thing that pops into your head and now you’re worried people will laugh at you and judge you for it. If only you could stop overthinking.
How long, really, are you willing to put up with feeling bad about yourself?
We see you, quietly watching confident people chatting away, wishing you could be just like them.
You want to feel capable of speaking up when you need to. Joining the social group you want to. Trying out that new hobby. Making new friends and going on dates without the panic. Getting the grades that you deserve. And… actually enjoying talking with people!
You want to grab exciting opportunities with both hands, instead of telling yourself you can’t do it and worrying about going red in the face or stumbling over your words and looking like a fool. You want to be able to make mistakes without your inner critic turning it into a big deal in your head. Of course, it would be nice to feel like you fit in too.
Just like everyone else, you need to feel seen and heard (even if that thought frightens you right now). And deep down you’re craving more moments of true connection. Laughing so hard your stomach hurts. And joyful, carefree adventures in fascination and awe.
There comes a time when you can no longer avoid speaking up and being seen....
It’s not easy to make a change.
Because no one really talks about this, you might be feeling broken, alone and ashamed, not realising how common feeling socially anxious really is!
You’ve tried (and failed) to ‘just do it’. You’ve googled ‘How to stop feeling anxious,’ ‘How to be more confident’, ‘How to make friends or date with social anxiety’, and you've started exploring introversion, high sensitivity and empaths, but you know that this knowledge isn’t enough.
You’ve probably tried addressing some of those negative thoughts you have. It’s the traditional way after all, but you’ve quickly discovered that challenging your thinking alone isn’t helping you to move through those anxious feelings… something inside you is still keeping you stuck.
You might even have had some professional help, but didn’t feel understood. It can be hard for anyone who hasn’t experienced social anxiety to really get it, so even therapists can misinterpret our behaviours sometimes, or not think about what we might need from them to feel safe and open up -and we know there’s quite a lot to consider. But hey, you’ve learned to look for support that’s enveloped in compassionate understanding now, right?
Stop rejecting yourself. It's time to embrace the good things in life.
Having (sloooowly) walked the path from social anxiety to quiet confidence ourselves (and through coaching hundreds of other people walking this path too!), we’ve come to realise that there are a lot of puzzle pieces to collect along the way. From updating your thought patterns, to developing healthy coping strategies and shifting anxiety from your body; gently stretching your comfort zone and changing the way you see yourself. And, most importantly, connecting with people who truly understand your struggle (you didn’t learn to feel socially anxious all by yourself, so you sure ain’t gonna get out of it alone either!)
This is what you get from Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident: a programme that pulls together the key lessons we’ve taken from over a decade of research, counselling, reading, coaching, courses, training, and getting super uncomfortable in the name of growth.
“Hi, we're Hayley and Stacie...
Together, we help quieter people like you to feel more calm and confident so you can speak up when you need to, join the social group you want to, make new friends and go on dates without the panic, get the grades that you deserve, and… actually enjoy talking with people!
Because we’ve been where you are.
“Since joining the Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident Programme, I have started volunteering in a place I had no prior experience of and gained employment. What’s most surprised me is being able to going to a party, dancing, socialising with new people and feeling very comfortable with the whole event… actually enjoying it!
I have more confidence and I am becoming more myself. I now have self-compassion and more understanding of my quietness and my past reactions. I see I am becoming more responsible for opening up new opportunities in my life, I am becoming increasingly stronger to experience more for myself and family.
Quiet connections has rebalanced my life with their kindness, knowledge and fantastic support. Working with Quiet Connections is the best thing I’ve done!”
Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident
Group coaching so you can start showing up for the things you’ve been missing out on in life
A 12-week online training & group coaching programme to help you with:
- Developing healthy coping strategies to reduce anxiety so that you can be in everyday social situations and still feel calm
- Recognising your strengths and seeing yourself in a more positive light so that you feel worthy of connection and can use your unique qualities to navigate challenges
- Gently stretching your comfort zone so that you grow your confidence and gain the skills to take real-world steps towards the job, course or hobby that you want to take (without feeling panicked and overwhelmed)
What’s Included in the Programme?
- A detailed ‘getting to know you’ form to fill out before we begin
- 12 hour-long sessions with our coach team (that’s one per week!) - £600 value
- Private message coaching support between sessions - £140 value
- The new, revised Comfort Zone Stretch Workbook to help you tailor a comfort zone stretch plan to suit you - £127 value
- Values exploration guide - £97 value
- Seeing the good in you guided exploration - £97 value
- Coping strategy written & video guides - £199 value
- Reflective journaling prompts for each week - £97 value
- Weekly Quieteer Pod support call with guidance - PRICELESS
- Community support in our private group - £120 value
- Friends and family perspective exercise - £47 value
- Calming and self-compassion meditations narrated by our coaches - £97 value
- Taking the power out of your negative thoughts toolkit module - £97 value
- Permission slips & affirmation templates - £27 value
- Anchoring confidence toolkit module - £97 value
TOTAL VALUE: £1,842
YOUR INVESTMENT TODAY: £297
You could get a fully funded scholarship if you sign up right now!
The Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident Programme begins again on Monday 21st February 2022. Apply now to secure your place. Applications close at midday 1st February 2022.
“I've been most surprised at how quickly I've become something like the person I wanted to be and how taking gradual steps to stretch my comfort zone - which had shrunk in recent years - had made that easy to do. When I was driving home after completing the last stretch of my plan - going for a six-mile walk with a group of around 25 people I had never met before - I had such a strong feeling of pride in myself that I had not felt for some time.
I'd recommend Quiet Connections and the Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident programme to anyone who experiences social anxiety to any degree - even if you feel too introverted or not introverted enough to take part. QC will help with whatever you want to achieve or whoever you want to work towards becoming. Hayley, Stacie and Phil talk to you on your level (they're Quieteers too!) and they are enthusiastic, knowledgeable, inspiring, patient, kind coaches. And they're great company in the live sessions!”
What will you be covering?
Our work together begins with you answering a few pre-session questions in our ‘getting to know you’ form. You’ll also be introduced to your Assigned Coach and Quieteer Pod members who will take every step with you as you walk this path. You’ll be building a 'Quiet Confidence Toolkit' of strategies to reduce anxiety and boost your confidence, and you’ll be practicing what you’re learning with guided between-session actions. Alongside this, you'll be gently stretching your comfort zone with a ton of support - this means encouragement and coaching to help you get over any little bumps in the road to quiet confidence.
Here are some topics we will be exploring together:
Setting you up for success!
Together, we’ll be busting old confidence myths, mapping out the path to quiet confidence and sharing a helpful technique to master the tools you’ll be picking up in this programme so you can easily implement your new strategies into your daily life to reduce anxious feeling and grow your confidence.
Letting go of negative thoughts
You’ll discover why your thoughts do not reflect reality. We’ll gently challenge the way that you think about both yourself and the social situations you experience and you’ll pick up new methods to explore ‘what else could be true?’ and reframe unhelpful thoughts to create space for positive possibilities.
Calming anxious feelings
You’ll be adding foundational techniques to your toolkit that are easy-to-use to bring yourself back into the present moment, calming feelings of anxiety. You’ll take away 3 helpful strategies from this session that you can use before, during and after social situations for you to put into practice.
Seeing the Good in You
You’ll be discovering your unique strengths and values and uncovering ‘blind spots’, expanding the way that you see yourself. With this greater self-awareness, you’ll be increasing your sense of self-worth, taking a more realistic view of your potential and actually growing to like who you are.
Dialling down your inner critic
You’ll be increasing your self-kindness and self-empowerment by identifying patterns of thinking that keep you ‘stuck’ and upgrading the way that you speak about yourself and your challenges. You’ll also learn to self-soothe and increase your motivation by adding self-compassion practices to your toolkit.
Comfort zone stretch planning
You’ll be creating a personalised plan to gently stretch your comfort zone and grow your confidence at your own pace, identifying small steps you can take to help you feel more comfortable in social situations. You’ll consider the resources and strengths you have available to you that can help you to take action, and your plan will be reviewed by a coach to make sure you’re staying in the ‘stretch zone’ and out of the ‘panic zone’.
...and taking action at your pace
You’ll carry out self-chosen activities that gently stretch your comfort zone and grow your confidence at your own pace with a ton of support! In addition to the ongoing support you get throughout the programme (listed below), you’ll also get a live coaching session each week where we celebrate your wins and explore challenges and how to overcome these together. Of course, we do this in a gentle and inclusive way, offering you the options to share your questions, wins and challenges anonymously before the session or to type them into the chatbox (we’ll never expect you to be on camera though we’re happy for you to stretch your comfort zone with us!)
Throughout the whole programme, the support you’ll get includes:
- Weekly guided meetings with your Quieteer Pod. Think of these people as your travel buddies and a vital support and empowerment group to help you on your journey.
- A private community of fellow Quieteers and Coaches. You can access this group online or via an app to ask questions, share your wins and challenges, support and celebrate each other! You’ll also get further prompts and tips from coaches in this group.
- Private messenger coaching support when you need it. If you feel unable to share your question in the community, you can reach out to send a private message to one of our coaches.
“Being in touch with you already feels life changing. I feel better about who I am and more proud of myself as a quieter person. I have become more accepting of any struggles I have. I am actually surprised how many wins I have had since the programme started. The surprising thing is that I didn't necessarily plan a lot of these as a comfort stretch, but I seem to be pushing myself to do new things anyway.
I would like to thank QC so much for such an amazing course, and especially my assigned coach for being a really great support and always willing to give her time. I feel that I have learnt a lot and have grown a lot as a result of the programme and most importantly, I know that I am not alone and am looking forward to continuing as a member of the quiet community!”
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to have a diagnosis of social anxiety to join the programme?
Absolutely not! You don't have to have a diagnosis of social anxiety to join the programme, you don't even have to consider yourself to be experiencing social anxiety. If you can relate to the story we're telling on this page, and you feel anxious in social situations then Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident is a good match for you, whether you think of yourself as 'socially anxious' or not.
Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident is designed for people who feel anxious in social situations, whether you're barely leaving the house, or you're in a job but finding work, relationships or everyday tasks a struggle. However these socially anxious feelings show up for you, we'll tailor the programme to meet you where you are.
Is the programme run online or in-person?
SA2QC is currently running online and will continue to be delivered virtually 2-3 times a year as this is the best way to make it accessible for the people who need it.
That said, we do have plans to run this course in-person in a limited number of locations across Cornwall in 2022. If you don’t think that you can do an online course and you would prefer to attend in-person in Cornwall, please click here to make sure you’re on our mailing list for more information about upcoming programmes.
When does the programme start and what days will it run?
The next course begins on Monday 21st February 2022. The live sessions will be running every Monday at 6-7:30pm. You’ll meet with your Quieteer Pod on another day each week, but which day you choose will be up to you as a group.
How much does the programme cost?
The cost of the programme is £297 (which is obviously super value for what you get!), BUT for a limited time we’re delighted to be offering fully funded scholarships thanks to the National Lottery Community Fund!
Will I be on camera in the live lessons?
No. We know how scary that can feel, so whilst we will be on camera, you won’t be. You can easily ask questions and share your thoughts and experiences with us via polls and the chat box. During week 7-12 we may or may not offer some people an invitation to join us on speaker/camera if you have a particular challenge you’d like to explore with us and you feel ready to share with the group, but no one is under any obligation to do so. The programme is designed so that you can interact only as much as you feel comfortable.
What if I can’t attend all the live sessions?
We encourage you to attend each session live so that you can get the most out of the programme and your time with us! However, we know that sometimes stuff just happens, like maybe you get sick; or the kids are running riot and the babysitter has let you down; or you’ve been rostered to work even though you requested it off; or your parents have travelled 3 hours to surprise you with an unannounced visit and now you have to cook for everyone… Nothing is certain in life and we know you can’t guarantee 100% attendance, so if something like that happens and you can’t join us live, you’ll have a recording of the session available to you so you can catch up before the next session.
Will there be homework?
Naturally you’ll need to complete actions between sessions to integrate what you’ve learned into your life, or nothing will change for you - and we know you want change! So after each module, you’ll have bitesize actions to complete. This could be doing a comfort zone stretch you’ve chosen, trying out a new technique, taking a personality assessment, or reflecting on your progress using our journal prompts. You’ll also want to practice using your Quiet Confidence Toolkit everyday, and we’ll explain how you can do this successfully in session 1.
How much time do I need to work through the programme?
We estimate you’ll spend approximately 3-4 hours a week working through the programme. It really depends how much you want to put into it (and as with everything you get out what you put in!). But to be clear, let’s break down the necessary commitment:
- One hour for the live lesson every Monday (we may finish sooner but we aim to leave space for Q&A too).
- 30 minutes for your weekly Pod Meeting on a day chosen by you and your group.
- A minimum of 1.5hrs to complete your between-session actions and reflections.
Who is leading the programme and how are they qualified?
The programme is run by three certified coaches: Hayley Stanton, Stacie Clark and Phil Williams. Each are professionally trained coaches with certifications that include: NLP Practitioner; Blue Health Coach; Quantum Human Design Specialist; mBIT Coach (that's multiple brain integration techniques); Action Learning Facilitator; Suicide Intervention Skills… in fact, they’re always studying, training or researching something valuable!
But, most importantly, each have their own experiences of travelling the path from socially anxious to quietly confident - they know what it’s like to be where you are right now and they’ve figured out a way through that social anxiety for themselves, and have since helped 100s of people walk that path too.
How does the Quieteer Pod work?
The Quieteer Pod is a small group of 3-4 people who you will be personally connected with each week. Essentially, these people are your very own travel buddies. The intention of the Pod connection is to provide priceless additional support, motivation, encouragement and reassurance throughout the programme.
Your Quieteer Pod is a truly valuable part of this experience. We know this, because we have been a Pod ourselves! The three of us took Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence programme together (we called ourselves the Dolphin Pod!), so we can safely say that, having taken courses both with and without being a part of a ‘Pod’, we’re 100% Pod converts! We’ve experienced the benefits first-hand and we agree it makes you feel more supported and understood. You’re more engaged and motivated and you stay on track more easily when you’re a part of a Pod. You do what you say you’ll do because you know you’ll be checking in with your buddies, and if you haven’t done it, they’re going to be kind and curious about what’s holding you back - so you get some bonus informal coaching to help you work through any little ‘blocks’ too!
Your role as a Pod Quieteer is to bring your excellent listening skills, curiosity and kindness to the group - you know, those lovely quiet strengths you already have. But you won’t be left to make conversation by yourself; you’ll have a guide for what to share in each Pod Meeting.
You’ll decide between you when to connect each week. We highly recommend a FaceTime or WhatsApp Video Call even though we know this will be a stretch - that’s the point. You know you’re all in the same boat and so stretching together is easier, and seeing each other’s faces helps you to create that strong bond.
Beyond SA2QC, your Pod connection is likely to stay strong and we recommend continuing meeting with each other as you continue to put into practise everything you’ve learned so you keep stretching & growing together.
Apply for a fully funded scholarship place on the Socially Anxious to Quietly Confident Programme, starting 21st February 2022. Applications close at midday 1st February 2022.