In this personal reflection for Pride month, Ellen shares her experience of finding quieter ways to celebrate Pride. I love what Pride stands for – visibility, celebration, community – but the reality of big, loud events has never been my thing. As a sensitive person, I find large groups overwhelming. I prefer to blend into…
From a young age, I was defined in the eyes of many by one word –Quiet. I remember being around 7 or 8 years old and doing an exercise where we were given photos of ourselves stuck in the middle of a blank page and other students had to write characteristics that describe us around…
Starting at sixth form, my shyness seemed to becoming more debilitating and I began to feel a lot worse about it. I struggled in class and socially, not feeling able to contribute in group situations, worrying excessively about ‘scary’ things such as presentations and debates, avoiding things that I didn’t feel able to cope with,…
As we gain more awareness and knowledge about how we think, feel and behave –and what happens for other people too- we can look back and make more sense of our experiences. I used to take things seriously and as absolute. I can see now that much of my pain came from believing everything I…
It’s easy to get into the habit of avoiding exercise because we’re feeling self-conscious. With body image being a key shame trigger for both women and men, I know I’m not alone in worrying what people will think of my sweaty red face, blotchy chest, wobbly bits, inability to control my panting, and even the…
Writing creatively can be very therapeutic. Research has shown that oral and written storytelling can enrich our spiritual and cultural lives and help us heal from past traumas and abuse. Sometimes people write their own life narrative and their writing is autobiographical in nature. Writing about daily experiences, that is, writing rooted in one’s own…
In the early budding stage of our relationship, my boyfriend’s sister invited me to her wedding. Upon receiving this news, I mentally responded in two ways. Firstly I was filled with elation, after all, she was betting on us being together a whole year into the future, a potentially risky move for a bride. Who…
What stops you from sharing yourself with the world? For me, it’s the fear of rejection. Built on that are the fears of failure and the fear of being seen for who I am; digging deep beneath it, it’s believing I’m unworthy and undeserving; all topped off with a dollop of feeling not enough. A…
In a sense, this is a ‘Tale of Two Cities’ or, more accurately, two countries; actually three if you count this one. This short tale is about asking for help when you don’t think you need it. It is a tale of contradictions. In 2011 I moved, with my wife and two daughters, from a…
One girl, a gap year, a university, and a whole lot of fear. That’s the run down of things right now. Let me explain… Things don’t always go to plan My intention was to start university last year, straight from college as most of my friends were doing. I was a mix of excitement and fear….
Take a look at the other side of confident comedian, Rhod Gilbert, in his documentary “Stand Up to Shyness” and see how stand up boosts the confidence of his three volunteers. Stand-up comedian Rhod Gilbert is painfully shy. Yes, he can stand up in front of 20,000 people and make them laugh but he finds it…
I always liked my safe comfort zone. It was small, safe and it left little room for me to make mistakes and potentially embarrass myself, or do anything that could draw attention to me. It wasn’t always like this; at primary school I was happy confident and outgoing. I was bullied all throughout my primary…