Latest posts by Caroline Wade (see all)
- Caroline’s Story: I’ve been full of doubt and self-loathing - 22nd January 2018
- How to love yourself like your life depends on it - 23rd October 2017
- Why you need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others - 21st October 2017
On the outside people see me as a confident, outgoing and friendly woman who can talk to anyone and embrace life and all of it’s opportunities; but throughout most of my life, on the inside I have often felt like a young self-conscious girl full of doubt and self-loathing living with a highly critical internal voice that is never satisfied with anything I do.
I have experienced periods of depression, low mood and anxiety through my life. Since the age of 14 I have struggled to admit when I am not ok, seeing it as a failing compared to others who seem to be able to cope with the busy-ness, noise and energy it takes to just ‘do’ everyday life. I struggled to understand and manage myself and my own wellbeing as a teenager which had a significant impact on my personal confidence and self-worth. With low confidence and little self worth, I struggled to come to terms with the impact of an alcoholic parent with mental ill-health. Then, I was devastated when, after years of trying, I lost a baby and was told I couldn’t have children. For years, all I could do was to keep powering on through, battling every step of the way until I had no choice but to hide and withdraw from the world feeling broken. A fraud. A failure. Then I’d get back up and start all over again, repeating the cycle.
Over time and with support, I have learnt that I don’t have to do it this way: I can use the resilience I have gained to manage and work through challenging times; build my inner confidence; and start to accept and even like myself for all that I am. This has meant learning to say when I need support, let go and give myself permission to take time-out and connect who I truly am with who I present to the world.
I love to relax whilst listening to my favourite music or reading a good book and eating great food! When I’m feeling more active, I love a good boogie or going stomping with my two dogs at the beach or in the woods. Podcasts or TED talks help me find inspiration and keep my brain busy.
I am determined to make a positive contribution to help people feel they have the power to be and do whatever they choose to -something I am learning more about everyday in my own life. I want nothing more than to work with, connect, stretch and grow with others to remind us all that we don’t just need to survive, we can thrive!