Coping strategiesThinking

Seeing the Good in You

Seeing the good in you
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Hayley

Director & Coach at Quiet Connections
Hayley shares her personal stories of feeling shy, socially anxious, ‘not good enough’ and fearfully avoiding the good things in life. Growing her confidence through coaching, gradually stretching her comfort zone and connecting with others, she now uses everything she has learned to help other people grow their confidence in her role as a coach. Hayley is passionate about connecting people with similar stories and creating safe, supportive spaces to make friends and try new things. Hayley dreams of a time when all of the strengths, skills and goodness in ‘quiet’ is recognised and appreciated as readily as being bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight is right now.
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Yes. For just a moment, imagine if you obsessed about the things you loved about yourself? How would you feel? Put simply, you would feel pretty fucking awesome right?

But hold on, it’s not that easy I hear you say. Well, I know. In fact, I know this all too well. I have spent most of my life being fixated on the things I hated about myself. My personality, my laugh, my voice, my face, my body, even hobbies, movies, music and topics that interested me (actual things that I liked!) – I eventually hated it all. There was a time when I literally could not hear compliments, assuming anything of the sort was actually some twisted joke and that I was being ridiculed. I lived like this for so many years, believing I wasn’t capable of achieving or doing anything. That I was never going to be good enough.

The sad truth is…. I know so many of you are feeling this way, right, this, second. If you just nodded, I feel ya. I really do. Because it sucks and it’s robbing you of living the life you truly deserve – and it’s robbing the world of all the amazing talents and gifts that you have to offer! (We want those, seriously, we do!)

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way forever. If I have been able to dig deep and find genuine love for myself, then I have absolutely every bit of faith that so can you.

What might that mean to you; Achieving your goals? Living your dreams? Making that career move? Travelling the world? Adventure? Love? Just being comfortable in your own skin? (<— that’s always been my ultimate goal). 

It took me a long time, but I slowly began to realise that I had a lot of strengths – and most are not very traditional strengths that a lot of society value, but more unique ones; unique to me (because I certainly am not organised, tidy, urgent, logical or constantly sociable ahah and I have had many insecurities about that in my life). What I bring, is me. I am somebody who see’s the world in every shade of colour and every side of the story. I am somebody who lives life with their heart and feels emotions so deeply that so often I can’t even express them. And I am somebody who finds enjoyment in the smallest of things (not to mention I’m also very easily amused!) – and that is only the start of my list. 

We are all so different, with so much to offer. And no one skill, talent or capability is any more better than the other. It’s just about recognising what makes you, you, and celebrating the shit out of it!

How can you start seeing the good in you?

1. Become aware of when you are comparing yourself to others

I personally feel this is one of the most important steps you can take. We naturally compare ourselves CONSTANTLY – it is ingrained in us as humans. But comparisons can damage your view of yourself, especially if you’re already not feeling very positive. If you can begin to learn to notice when this happens and how that is making you feel, you can begin to start catching yourself and prevent those comparisons from feeling like the truth.

2. Make a list or a brainstorm

A completely frivolous list at that – list everything, from the smallest to the biggest, and even the things that make you think ‘yeah that’s okay’. If this is hard for you, begin with just 1-2 things and build your list gradually. Feel free to ask friends what they would put on your list and add them to it

3. Keep your list, look at it and celebrate it!

I keep a brainstorm in my notebook, and every now and again if I’m having a bad day I will whip it out and focus on it for a good 5 minutes. It takes time to let go of old negative beliefs and begin believing in new positive ones – you have most likely spent years giving strength to the negativity, so allow time for your positive ones to grow too. So, little reminders are great and we all need them!

Your confidence will naturally start to grow when you start nourishing your individuality and recognising that you are awesome simply the way you are 

If you’re based in Cornwall and would like help with exploring your strengths and values (and getting creative with a project to celebrate them!), then myself and Hayley from Quiet Connections would love to invite you along to our Seeing The Good In You workshop on Saturday August 19th.

We only have a couple of spaces left so to book yours please click here.

Or feel free to get in touch if you would like some further info (or simply fancy a chat!) You can email me at hello@newdayknitwear.co.uk

Love,

This is a guest post from Stacie, first published at New Day Knitwear. We’re excited to be collaborating with Stacie on our upcoming workshops! Make sure you book your place soon 🙂

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