How to feel more confident in your job interview [Lessons from psychologist Amy Cuddy]

How to feel more confident in your job interview [Lessons from psychologist Amy Cuddy]

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Hayley

Director & Coach at Quiet Connections
Hayley shares her personal stories of feeling shy, socially anxious, ‘not good enough’ and fearfully avoiding the good things in life. Growing her confidence through coaching, gradually stretching her comfort zone and connecting with others, she now uses everything she has learned to help other people grow their confidence in her role as a coach. Hayley is passionate about connecting people with similar stories and creating safe, supportive spaces to make friends and try new things. Hayley dreams of a time when all of the strengths, skills and goodness in ‘quiet’ is recognised and appreciated as readily as being bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight is right now.
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Bring your boldest self to your job interview

How do you want to be seen in your next job interview? You probably want your potential employer to see you as confident, genuine and capable. Then why do we, all too often, approach the job interview with dread, execute it with anxiety, and leave it with regret? The stakes are high and we may not present our best selves to achieve our desired outcome. Afterwards, we can end up replaying the job interview in our head, punishing ourselves with thoughts like “I should have said this” or “If only I’d done it that way”.

Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy explores this phenomenon and its association with power. In her new book Presence, Amy – a social psychologist – teaches us how to use simple techniques to liberate ourselves from fear and anxiety in high-pressure situations such as the job interview. She demonstrates that simple tweaks to your body language, behaviour, and mind-set can help you to perform at your best, and connect with and empower others to do the same. Here are three strategies that you can begin using right away:

Focus on the process

In high-pressure moments, it’s easy to attribute far too much importance to the outcome, instead of focusing on the process. When our attention is on the significance of winning that job – or what will happen if we don’t – we can become increasingly concerned over the impression we’re making on others, heightening our anxiety.

If you have interview anxiety, you might feel like you are alone in your experience. If you’re nervous, remember that everyone has felt this way (even senior executives feel like this!). You’re doing something that matters to you so it makes sense that you might feel a little nervous. Amy suggests we acknowledge this feeling. You can tell your interviewer that you’re feeling a little nervous because this is a big deal for you and you’re really excited to meet them -they will relate.

Harness your personal power

There are two kinds of power: social power which is gained through having a powerful position and influence over others, and personal power which is characterised by freedom from the dominance of others and is about our own inner resources. We can have one without the other.

Amy Cuddy tells the story of Stefan, a successful financer with a great deal of social power –he makes decisions about whether or not to invest in companies that seek funding. Despite his position of power, Stefan finds himself lacking confidence when meeting with Chief Executives who are usually older than him. This is what social power without personal power is like.

However, Amy explains that “by accessing our personal power, we can achieve “presence,” the state in which we stop worrying about the impression we’re making on others and instead adjust the impression we’ve been making on ourselves.” Amy goes on to share a simple exercise that has been shown in hundreds of studies to reduce anxiety dramatically and help you tap into your own personal power:

Affirm your core values

Before your job interview, list five values that are really core to who you are (such as family, helping people, etc.) and rank them. Choose the top one –the one that’s most important to you- and write about why it matters to you. Then, write about a time when you were really able to express that and how it felt. Even though the exercise might seem unrelated to the task at hand, it will help you remember what you personally have to offer. As Amy explains, this is “a way of grounding ourselves in the truth of our own stories. It makes us feel less dependent on the approval of others and even comfortable with their disapproval, if that’s what we get -you become better at whatever the challenge is.” This is about showing up, being true to yourself and presenting your best self.

Lead with your physical presence

“Our non-verbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves. Our bodies change our minds” -Amy Cuddy

Opening up and acting as if you are feeling safe sends a message to your mind that tells it you’re okay. In her TED talk, Amy discusses “power poses” which she describes as expansive and open body language —you take up a lot of space and hold your arms and legs away from your body. Think of a powerful person you know… what is their body language like? How do they hold themselves? How do they move? You will notice you feel more confident as you mimic their body language.

Importantly, studies show that power posing before an interview has a significant effect on performance. Just a couple of minutes of power posing results in increased testosterone (the dominance hormone) and reduced cortisol (the stress hormone). So before you head into an interview, take two minutes to throw your hands in the air and widen your stance. Think superhero style. Once you are in the interview, feel free to take up space. Present yourself with strong, open posture and not only will you be seen as confident, but you will feel it too.

Body language affects how others see us, and it may also change how we see ourselves. In this Ted Talk, watch Amy Cuddy showing how standing in a posture of confidence and “power posing”, even when we don’t feel confident, improves our performance in high pressure situations.

Using these techniques won’t guarantee you get the job, but it will certainly help. Think of your next job interview this way: your job is not to get the job. It is to present your true best self and show them who you really are.

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