Latest posts by Hayley (see all)
- Seeing the Good in You - 15th August 2017
- #TheVulnerabilityChallenge: Giving myself permission to be imperfectly human (Day 23) - 23rd July 2017
- #TheVulnerabilityChallenge: How I found the courage to be seen on BBC Spotlight (Day 22) - 22nd July 2017
#TheVulnerabilityChallenge Day 17
Keep dancing… don’t worry about being perfect
So many of us won’t allow ourselves the freedom to be silly and expressive. We’re so worried about what other people think of us; we feel we must be calm, cool and collected to be ‘good enough’.
“We hustle for our worthiness by slipping on the emotional and behavioural straight jacket of cool”
– Brene Brown
For me, there’s no form of self-expression that makes me feel more vulnerable than dancing. It’s full body vulnerability, second only to being naked. My memories of dancing (or not) are pretty embarrassing.
As a young child, I went to the local youth club with friends. I remember they were all up and dancing to those classic tunes from Gina G and Peter Andre and I was dragged on to the dance floor with them. Well, I didn’t want to be sat by myself anyway. I stood with them but I wouldn’t dance. One of the youth workers told me to sit down if I wasn’t dancing.
As I grew older, I would only dance under the influence of liquid courage – lots of it. Being so out of control on the dance floor was equally as humiliating. Oh, the times I fell over and flashed! And the photos the next day…
So it felt like a complete nightmare when I joined the Race for Life team in 2013, just as they brought in the ‘Cancer Slam’ dance to be performed at all the race launch events. I wouldn’t be able to use alcohol to get through it this time!
I danced on the streets of Bristol, Cardiff and Exeter. I wasn’t perfect, composed or unshakeable, I’m clearly nervous at the start of this video. But I’m human and once I took off the emotional straight jacket, I actually enjoyed myself. Look at me goooo!
2013 Cancer Slam in Exeter – I’m the redhead on the left